the week before (starting 27 April 2009), i kept repeating to myself in my mind that no one can make me feel down, except if i allowed myself to. just like a broken tape player. n this very week i was defeated. can't even remember what made me started on it..

it happened on tuesday. my bunkmates and i, were slacking in bunk, doing our own stuff in the afternoon. we got permission to go for liberty in the evening but i was undecided whether to go or not at that point of time. i went around asking anyone's going to the cookhouse so that they could scan for us. found quak who agreed to go. jotted down the IC numbers of my bunkmates, some other ppl i could not recall and of course, my own.

went looking for quek after that and failed to find him. then i decided not to go liberty cause of the lack of funds and cause of the boredom of just going anywhere. rather stay in with my psp and some snacks, drink and bowl noodles from seng fatt. headed back to my bunk to grab whats left in my wallet before setting off.

just as i opened the door, the metal door (broken off one of the cabinets we have in the bunk) unexpectedly came crashing down right in front of me, one of the edges of the door right in front of my eyes. the door was stored at the balcony. im not sure if i remember wrong or something, but laughter met my ears at this scene. if this is your idea of a prank, its not funny to me. its not gonna be funny to anyone if the sharp edge actually jabbed my eye. i was fucking pissed at this, i tell you. i was thinking how it would turn out if we were to argue about this:

me: what if the sharp edge jabbed my eye?
you guys: you said "what if" what... it never happened..
me: "WHAT IF"?! IF IT HAPPENED THEN ITS TOO LATE!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GONA DO?! FEEL GUILTY AND APOLOGISE?! WHO GONA GET ME A NEW EYE?!

i just kicked the damn door and shouted into the room to scan on ur own. i remember hearing vege said "dun scan den dun scan lo... no biggy..." i didn't go ahead and argue back. i always lose arguments with u guys and would probably lose this one as well. i always in the fucking wrong. it has always been 3+1. im doing u guys a favor by scanning and this is the thanks i got? what the hell have i been to deserve this fucking attitude?! i guess in the end you guys are not feeling guilty or apologetic. theres no reason for you guys to feel that way. you guys are always right.

im not particularly saying that one of you guys did this. im saying ALL THREE OF YOU DID THIS!!!

for the next few day, i was waiting for something to happen. you guys wanna ignore me. its pretty fine with me. what goes around comes around. but what with that attitude yesterday?!
yes, its my fault that i misplace my helmet. i willing to believe that someone actually came into our room to steal it. but what the hell?! i searching high and low like a dog missing his bone and you guys lie comfortable on your beds like nothing happened, even after i told your guys theres only 3 helmets in the balcony!!! and vege, you still got the cheek to joke: "its your problem, not mine". and i thought you are the most sensible of the three. guess im wrong. again.

thanks.. nice knowing you guys

my friendster
yiJun
jiaMin
junJie